"Fusion in Real Life"

I started this  post at Lynda's request ;) A bit from someone who is not a newbie to VT

I've been doing VT for almost a year now so have done a LOT of teaming, anti-suppression, tracking etc exercises. Born with esotropia, I had one surgery at 5 yrs of age and was left with an exotropia and hypertropia. At 50 ish, I read Sue's book and got myself to VT! I, too, have been keeping a journal of just the highlights and vividly remember seeing my therapist finger and the dice on a Squinchel exercise (love the exercise, love the name!) which was my first jump into overcoming my suppression. I also remember the vectogram "jumping out at me" for the first time, too. I am totally grateful for the patience my V therapist has when so many times i either couldn't explain what I saw or didn't see what I "should" or whatever I was seeing kept changing. Saint Jen!

After doing so many exercises, I got into the habit of trying too hard to see what I was supposed to see or analyzing what I was and was not seeing. Jen had to start reminding me to just "look". That was very hard for me (still is).

Eventually, after reading about Dr Press and others saying that depth perception doesn't all happen at once, and after getting some prism on for my hyperphoria (it is now!) I relaxed enough to just go on with ordinary life while wearing my prism. Sure enough, I noticed that if I didn't try to see depth,  I would start to be aware of depth. I noticed how far away the other room was, how short my dachshunds were, that the chair isn't in front of the lamp because it occludes the lamp, but because it is closer!

I know this is all rudimentary and still tenuous, but it does happen!

I have a lot to do still with my vergences and tracking, especially in visual fields other than straight ahead, but now I have some small experiences to work from. I can feel much more easily when I have one eye deviated or suppressed so can self monitor better, too.

I am terribly excited about getting my new prescription glasses with prism that I can wear all the time and live life with a potential of fusion and even a bit of depth (with a LOT more work to do I know). Of course I will work to get the prism out, but this is like a quantum step for me.

So, for those of you just starting out, here's a post from a longer timer. There were times (and will be) when it seemed like I was getting nowhere, and questioned whether it was worth it all---IT IS! Please keep plugging away! Work hard but not too hard, have faith and let's keep talking :)