I came up with this list last year while shedding some comedy on my road to 3D. Please feel free to add your tell-tale signs of being an adult in vision therapy.
You know you are in binocular vision therapy when...
1. You tell people you can see two moons and the only person who doesn’t think you’re a verified lunatic is your developmental optometrist who asks, “How far apart horizontally and vertically were the two moons? Were they the same size? Could you make them come together and be single again?”
2. Your friend complains he’s losing his hair and you tell him, “I can’t tell because I see you in double sometimes. So with your two heads, you have a lot more hair than usual!”
3. Somebody keeps asking you to drive them somewhere at night and you don’t want go and you realize you have a good excuse: “Do you really want me to drive you at night? I see double at night and all the streetlights, car lights and other lights either have halos or have lots of rays coming out of them in all directions and I have trouble making sense of where to go.”
4. You find yourself staring at napkins because you’ve never noticed the undulating texture of the napkin. You say, “Wow, I never noticed how complicated this napkin is. It looks like an orange peel with all its curves and dips.”
5. At a street crossing, while waiting for the light to turn green, you are distracted from the traffic as you are amazed at the concrete and how unsmooth it looks.
6. You stare at people you’ve known for a long time (like your mother) and can’t figure out why they look different, until you realize that they have more wrinkles on their face than you had previously noticed! (Hopefully, you don’t announce your new finding to the newly-aged person.)
7. You prefer to go on walks with your friends and family rather than sit side by side and look at them because you don’t want to see them in double. (Motion cuts down on double vision.)
8. You finally have an excuse to become a couch potato because you have little energy to do much else.
9. You have a great excuse to tell your mom so you can diplomatically get out of family functions with loud and annoying relatives and family friends, “I can’t take the noise, plus I see some people in double and they are even more annoying than usual.”
10. You can be a kid again and spend lots of time every week staring at Humpty Dumpty, clowns and other children’s images and tell your therapist or doctor when you see them in double. You also get to see things that don’t exist. You see five dots on the wall, but the doctor has only shone four dots in red and blue. Most importantly, anytime you think you are going crazy, you can just blame it on the vision therapy!
You wear your red-green glasses at work, even when you are not doing your VT exercises?
lol....well, kinda....I take some of my exercises to work. Sometimes, it's just fun to wear them around to check that both eyes are on
VT nerd for sure. ;)
You know you're in vision therapy when...
-when doing MFBF activities at home, wearing red/green glasses, you just keep them on when interrupted (by children, the phone, the doorbell, etc)
-you wear your red/green glasses across your forehead the other times you are interrupted by children, the phone, the doorbell...
-you don't care who sees you doing red/green bar reading with a flipper on the front stoop (so nice to be out on a summer day with the bright sunlight.)
-you actually care about 3D movies existing, and plan to see one.
-you are assigned to play a ring-toss game. (who gets that homework assignment?)
-words like diopters, esotropia, diverge, float, break, and blur are a part of your normal lexicon.
-you can blame any boneheaded moves on "your strabismus" (kind of what you said in your #10, SusannaZ) "oh, well I couldn't tell--it's my strabismus."
-you no longer think of yourself as a foolishly incompetent person when backing your car down a narrow driveway...you now know that you have amazing skills to perform that feat with zero depth perception.
You know you are in vision therapy when you are acutely aware of the upcoming change of seasons because of the trees changing color.
One of the advantages of spending so much time staring at trees as that I am acutely aware of the seasons and the early autumn leaves. Even before our turn to fall, I noticed autumnal hues of orange and red on trees. I mentioned this last week to a friend who lives in foggy San Francisco, commutes on a tree-less highway and works in an office. She had no idea that the trees were already showing signs of change. Evidently, she doesn’t spend much time admiring arboreal beauty. I, in my road to 3D, spend a lot of time starting at trees, especially when I am in a moving vehicle, preferably not one I am driving.